Am I Gay? wow the questions of the universe are being unfolded to me:-D

"Am I Gay?" Self Examination For Men

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you aregay.It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and havespent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing theOprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, hasa delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. Andjust think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said getyour ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call acat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to beframed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any suchnonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks onbar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigsfeet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably afag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in aparking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship.A man's world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man willnever be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf SoyLatte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or fourdifferent types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might aswell be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memoryspace in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick outchartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you canname ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you arefaggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dyingto tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk ata slow-ass driver or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needsthat hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold hisbeer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email listbecause you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you aredefinitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.